


The Trinket

by Genie60



Series: Poldark Series 2- Dribs and Drabs [14]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, Marriage, Poldark S2 filler, trial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9525047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: S2 Ep2 filler.  Ross's thoughts before, during and after the trial after he finds something Demelza left for him in his saddle bag.  Inspiration from the opening scene of episode 2 and an idea sprung from a conversation with @Alicebhatt...





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always I own nothing and thank Winston and Debbie for the playtime while we wait for S3

The din from the streets carried through into the depths of Bodmin jail. The dank air and darkness added to the dire atmosphere that Ross found himself in.  He had just dismissed George after having made it clear that any kind of agreement between them that might lead to Ross’s acquittal was not going to happen.  Ross would rather take his chances and hang than be indebted to a Warleggan.  It didn’t matter who had asked him to intervene on his behalf, he could not bring himself to compromise his morals that way.  And yet, this meant that he most likely was one step closer to the noose and never seeing Demelza again.

Ross picked up the quill again and looked at the beginnings of the letter he was writing to her.  How could he put on paper the words that he couldn’t even say out loud?  Standing up he walked around the table, twirling the feather between his fingers.  His mind drifted back to last night and the feel of her skin under his hands, the warmth of her body wrapped in his.  The thought that he might never touch or make love to her again gave him an ache he could not describe.  He never believed that another human being would be such a part of him that the idea of losing them would feel like an amputation.  Feeling the frustration grow about this whole situation, he slammed his hand on the table sending his saddle bag to the ground.  He bent to pick it up and as he did, something fell out of the leather pouch and rolled across the floor.

His eyes followed the path of the item and squinting in the dim candlelight saw it land under his bunk.  Walking towards it, he couldn’t possibly imagine what it would be and so was surprised when his hand reached under the cot and wrapped around what felt like a shell.  Pulling it out from the darkness Ross held it up to the candle and saw that it was indeed a shell. A sand dollar to be exact.  He turned it over in his hand and recognized it as one that Demelza kept on her dressing table along with other trinkets from the beach.  This one however had special meaning to her because it was one of Julia’s favorite playthings. 

He remembered the day she found it. They had been walking on the beach shortly after Julia’s birth, one year to the day of their marriage.  Demelza was barefoot in one of her simple green frocks, barefoot with her glorious red hair loose and falling in waves around her face and shoulders. She was beautiful and didn’t look at all like a new mother.  He had spun her around to give her a kiss and smiled when he saw the joy on her face.  Her hand cupped his cheek and he fell into her gaze.  He had never been happier than he was at that moment.  As he grabbed her hand to keep walking along the shore, he was stopped by Demelza. The sea had just brushed over her toes and as it receded she glimpsed a pure white object.  Crouching down, careful to gather her skirts up to avoid total submersion in the water she picked up the shell. It was an almost perfectly formed sand dollar of white with flecks of pink. Demelza brushed it on her skirt and skipped to Ross to show him.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” she said, the enthusiasm in her voice was infectious as she sound like a child who had found some buried treasure.

“It’s just a shell,” Ross said, his interest obviously not as keen as his wife’s.

“Oh Ross,” she scolded. “You never find such shells on the beach and for one to show up now, on the year anniversary of our marriage and a month since Julia was born?  I’m keeping it remembrance of today and how happy I am.” 

Ross’s mind saw the smile that lit up her face and he closed his eyes.  Would he ever see that face again?  Now he was sorry that he told her to stay at home.  He needed her near him and the sight of her in his peripheral vision would remind him of what he had and what was important. 

Sitting back down at the table, Ross tried to scratch out the rest of the letter when he saw something else peeking out from the bag.  He stretched his hand across the table and pulled out a small parchment.  He recognized the handwriting right away. Demelza. What has she done now?  Ross went to open it and saw his hands were trembling.  He wasn’t sure if it was because of the overall circumstances or what she might have written.  As he unfolded it, he saw that there were only a few lines written on the page.

_My love-I’m sending this shell for luck and so you never forget that I love you.  Know that Julia will be watching over you too. Come back to me.  Forever yours, Demelza._

Ross folded the paper back up and returned it to his saddle bag. Then he took the shell and placed it in his coat pocket.  As tears formed, he tried once again to write something to his beloved wife that would give her comfort if he were to break his promise to her and not come home.  He was only able to write a few words before giving up.  He put the quill down and read her note again before laying down on the bunk, clutching the shell before closing his eyes to sleep.

****~~~~****

When dawn broke the next morning the sun streamed through the grate reminding him that today could be the last one he sees.  He was not a praying man but after a fitful sleep that brought visions of Demelza and Julia and the life they could have had, he was putting his faith in a God he wasn’t sure existed. For how could a compassionate being put himself and Demelza through the turmoil they’ve experienced in the past year? Except, he knew if he asked his wife she would have said “ _that you must focus on the good for that surely outweighs the bad_.”  Ross could always count on Demelza to put a positive spin on a negative situation.  He dressed slowly, tying his stock without benefit of a mirror and finally put on his coat.  Reaching down to the bunk, he picked up the sand dollar and grasped it between his hands, caressing the smooth exterior and thinking of Demelza.

The guard came to get him and as he walked down the pathway, he kept his hand tight around the shell, as if to gain strength from it, from the woman who had left it for him and from the child he had lost.  As Ross approached the courtroom he could hear the shouts of the gallery and wondered where all these people had come from and why they were so interested in his case.  He figured it was all part of George’s scheme to get rid of him once and for all by seeing him hang.  When he entered he glanced around the room and only saw the sea of angry, hateful strangers.  As he took his place in the box, his eye was drawn to a green riding suit and hat with a shock of red hair underneath. Demelza.  The determination he had to fight this battle alone evaporated at the site of his wife.  Their eyes met and he could see hers filled with unshed tears, red rimmed as if she had already been crying. She probably was because of him; always because of him.  He collapsed a little, his back bending as he too felt tears come.  Demelza gave him a weak smile trying to bolster his resolve and Ross tried to reciprocate. As he was escorted to the table where his counsel was seating his hand went to his pocket and he touched the trinket gently. Turning towards Demelza he tried to get her attention and as their unspoken connection kicked in, she looked at him and smiled. Ross felt her love and comfort pass over him like a wave and a part of him believed in faith that it was going to be alright.

****~~~~****

The trial went on all day as witness after witness spoke for the crown and against Ross. He sat at the defense table astounded at the lengths to which George would go including the dragging of Demelza’s father into court to recount the tale of how he and his wife came to be.  Luckily he hadn’t see Demelza’s face during Tom Carne’s tirade but could only imagine how it looked and sounded to everyone else.  Hearing that man say that Ross had debauched his daughter and made her unfit for anyone else hit him at the core.  He touched the pocket that held the shell and thought of Julia.  What if someone like himself had taken his daughter in and seduced her as he had done to Demelza?  Wouldn’t he act the same way? And then Ross remembered that night and that it was not he who made the decision to change the state of their relationship but Demelza. As often was the case, she was the brave one willing to take a chance while he just avoided the feelings that confronted him.  Again, he felt the need to reassure himself that she was there and discreetly put his hand in his coat, rubbing the shell with his thumb, going back and forth over the surface. 

Ross began to wonder, as he heard the testimony against him, if he could handle seeing Demelza’s reaction to a guilty verdict.  He hoped that Francis and Verity would take her out of there before he was taken to his fate.  His mind replayed all the words he wanted to say to her and all things he had hoped to do with Julia so the sound of the witnesses faded into the background.  By the time Dwight took the stand it seemed the trial already over. He couldn’t see how anything his best friend said would change the outcome.   And he was right.  So it was left to his testimony which he was torn about, after he had read what his counsel had written. It went against everything he believed in but was it worth compromising his pride so that he could go home to Demelza?  He glanced to his right and saw her luminous face putting on a brave smile that he knew was for his benefit.  He knew deep inside she was as frightened as he was yet once again striving to be the support she thought he needed.  He felt the weight of the shell in his coat, as light as it was and focused on that when he walked to the witness box, his hand holding the statement that could decide the rest of his life.  He started speaking, reading from the formal statement until he could go no further.  He crumbled it up, putting his hand on his coat to feel the shell again.  The minutes that he spoke seemed to go in slow motion when in actuality is passed quickly and there was silence in the room at his unexpected outburst. 

Sitting down, Ross saw the distressed faces of his counsel, Francis, Dwight, Verity and Demelza; his sweet and ever devoted wife.  He bowed his head as he took out the shell and held it in his hand, closing his eyes in one final attempt at prayer.  It was presumed he was guilty, that was clear, and that the only question was what his punishment would be.  Ross wasn’t sure what was worse: jail or the noose. They were both a death sentence.  His grip tightened on the shell and Ross caught himself before he broke it.  His gaze was still focused on the ground when he heard the jury was back.  Standing he slipped the shell into his pocket and gripped the edge of the table.  He heard voices and thought he understood what was being said but the only thing he actually heard was “not guilty”.  Ross threw his head back in relief and waited for what seemed an eternity until Demelza reached him. He breathed in her scent burying his face in her neck, clinging for dear life. Once it was clear that this was not a dream and that he was free Ross took Demelza by the arm and led her out of the courtroom, anxious to get home. 

****~~~~****

Finally settled, with Jud and Prudie back in residence as well, Ross walked into the bedroom and saw Demelza dropping violets on to Julia’s bed. He quietly shut the door as she turned to come to him.  She took hold of his waistcoat and related her dislike of Bodmin.  As she told Ross what she wanted he felt grateful that he was spared and that he was home with her.  Giving her a kiss upon confirmation that she was far from common, he walked over towards their bed, where Demelza now sat watching him and went to remove his waistcoat. At the same time Demelza relayed to him her wish for another child.  For a moment Ross didn’t know what to say. As he contemplated his wife’s desire, he had temporarily forgotten about the trinket in his coat pocket and so abruptly left the room leaving Demelza sitting on the bed perplexed at her husband’s actions. Presently he returned and she could see he was clutching something in his hand.  He held it out to her and she grabbed it, and as they both held on to the fragile white shell, their eyes met in unspoken thoughts. Not wanting to let go Ross sat down on the hope chest at the end of the bed, keeping Demelza’s hand and the shell in his.  They looked at their linked hands and smiled.

“I see you found the gift from Julia and me,” Demelza said quietly.  She kept her eyes downcast and Ross knew why for he was sure they would reflect the same as his. Relief and sadness, hope and fear and most importantly, love.

“Yes my love,” he responded.  After a pause he added, “I also found your note.”  He held up the wrinkled parchment for her to see.

Demelza looked up at him at that point and tried to give him a smile.  Ross saw her struggle and perhaps even a bit of embarrassment.  It was a rare thing for the two of them to actually verbalize their feelings for each other on a level more than just superficial.  They knew they loved each other.  Well, Ross knew that Demelza loved him; she had shown him in so many ways and so many times during the years since he found her and brought her to Nampara.  And he hoped that she knew he loved her as well but his way with words always seemed to leave something to be desired.  His mind flashbacked to the first days of their marriage when she had told him she thought she displeased him.  Then he had to reassure her that it wasn’t the case and that he would find a way to show her that. Now he wondered if he had done enough to allay those fears. 

“Ross, I…” she hesitated but was going to continue. “I just wanted to let you know that I…that I love you.”

“Demelza,” he started to say but couldn’t go on.  Her face was bright and full of a light he couldn’t place.  It was different than just happiness at the outcome of the day; it seemed to emanate from her soul and shone through those beautiful blue green eyes.

“Did I do something wrong?”  She tried to tug her hand out of his and he held her fast. Her head bent again, as she tried to avoid his gaze.

“Demelza look at me,” Ross whispered. “Look at me,” he said more insistently this time.

She raised her head and gazed into her husband’s eyes.

“You’ve done nothing wrong my love.  Unless showing your devotion and support to your sometimes reckless husband is considered wrong doing,” he said. 

Demelza heard the lightness in his voice and her worry that she’d been an improper wife faded.  Ross saw her relax and continued.

“However I thought we agreed you would not come to Bodmin,” Ross said. Her eyes widened at the statement and she realized that perhaps Ross was upset with her for going to the trial.

“Yes Ross we did,” she responded.

“Have I told you how I feel about a disobedient wife?” He was smiling at her now, the tension of the day slowly subsiding.

“Have I told you how I feel about a reckless husband?” She countered and was about to kiss him when she realized their hands still held the sand dollar.

They laughed a little before taking that kiss from each other, still holding hands and the trinket.  Pulling away, Ross touched Demelza’s cheek before taking the shell into his hand and rising. She watched as he went to her dressing table and replaced it in the empty space he knew it belonged.

 He turned to her and said, “I think it did what it was supposed to, don’t you?”

“Yes.  Julia was with us both today, wasn’t she?” Demelza said her voice heavy with emotion. Ross opened his mouth to say something and remembered he had something else he needed to give Demelza. He rushed out of the room, running down the steps. Demelza listened trying to figure out what he was doing.  Suddenly he reappeared, slightly out of breath and holding a parchment.  Having no idea what it might be, Demelza sat on the bed and waited.

Ross stopped a moment to gather himself and then approached the bed slowly, sitting on the edge near Demelza. 

“Demelza,” he began.  “When I was in Bodmin and thought that perhaps I would not be able to keep my promise to you and come home, I started to write you a letter. Much the way you wrote to me.”  He took a beat and smiled at her, letting her know that the note meant everything to him. His wife reciprocated with one of her brilliant smiles and he went on.  “However, I find that you were much more eloquent in your feelings than I was.  And so I could only write this.”  He held out the paper, his hand unsure and waited for her to take it.

Demelza took it and opened it gingerly as if it would disintegrate.  She scanned the parchment and looked up at him confused.

“Ross there is nothing on this.  Are you trying to play games with me?”  She thought he was making fun of her and she didn’t appreciate the joke. Not tonight. Ross saw that she didn’t understand his meaning.

“Far from it, my love.  The paper is blank because there are no words that I could write to truly express how I feel for you.”  His voice was so richly sincere and full of love Demelza couldn’t help but shed a tear.

“Try Ross, “she managed to say but could go no further.

“It’s quite simple really.  I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for going on this journey with me. The love and support for this writing has been exactly what my old heart needed. And yes, a piece of me goes into each of these stories.


End file.
